So this past weekend, my incredible husband took me back-to-school shopping in Michigan City because, let’s face it, if one must go back to school…then one deserves to shop (just kidding – I really love my job!). I was super-pumped for Michigan City because I enjoy deals like no one’s business…plus my wardrobe really needed some lovin’.
I found these adorable colored-denim pencil skirts from Gap and promptly purchased two of them, one in army green and one in brown. Today, I decided to wear the green one to summer school. When I got in my car, I literally thought to myself, “Hmm…this pencil skirt suddenly feels roomier…” but then I checked the slit in the back and it was properly in tack. However, when I got to school, I stepped out of my car and felt a strong breeze in places where breezes should not be felt, especially while in public…and realized out that I was, indeed, wrong about the in tack-ness.
So, yeah, my brand new, army green pencil skirt had a solid rip in from my knee to just above my derriere. Luckily, I am anally compulsive (haha…anally…ironic) about being early to work, and had enough time to return home and change prior to the arrival of my students.
During the remainder of my work day, I had the following songs/lyrics running through my head:
- I don’t think your ready for this jelly.
- My humps, my humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps in the back and in the front
- Baby got back.
- Fat-bottomed girls make this rocking world go ’round (Queen – it’s a fave)
- Shake, shake, shake…shake, shake, shake….Shake yo’ booty.
- All I was do is……..yo shake yo’ rump.
The rest of the songs were far worse than the ones appearing on this lame list…mostly naughty rap music that my father wouldn’t approve of.